Love

• He who dies with the most love, wins.
• Love is like investing.  You can only lose what you give, but the upside is infinite.
• Find your person.
• A hug is worth a thousand smiles.
• Love is not a zero sum game.  Your heart can grow to love more people.

There’s an old saying that’s a little out of fashion now: ‘He who dies with the most toys, wins.”  It used to be on posters, bumper stickers, and even coffee mugs you’d have around the house.  I know some people who believe in this saying strongly.  I’m not here to judge, but I never quite got that.

Stuff isn’t the end goal.  You can’t take it with you when you’re gone, so what’s the point?

That was until I was in a conversation with Warren Rustand about life, love and living.  He’s got a little more experience, and I think has his priorities a little straighter than most.  When he was talking about the funeral of George H.W. Bush, he reflected on the amount of love the man had in his life, and how that love was what the real end goal should be.

This got me thinking, that the real contest in life isn’t stuff, it’s love.  And the real goal should be: ‘He who dies with the most love, wins.’

So how do you get more love?

It’s simple.  You give more love.  You show more love.  You do things that make a difference in someone else’s life.  The amazing thing is the more you put in, the more you get out.  That’s what makes love like investing.  You can only lose what you give, but the upside return is infinite.  Let me explain.

If you invested one dollar in a stock, and the company goes bankrupt, your investment goes to 0.  You lose your dollar.  But if the stock does an Amazon, or a Google, that dollar is worth billions over time.  The downside is $1.  The upside is infinite.

It’s the same with love.

If you give someone your love, show your love, or do something in a loving or caring way, and they reject it.  You only lose that little bit of love you’ve shown.  However, if they return it, and it continues to grow, there is no stopping it.  You can love a thing, a pet, a person, an organization, a cause, and most importantly yourself.

This is one thing that took me a long time to learn.  That love is unique in the way it can expand.  So much so it’s hard to explain.  I used to think in terms of a zero sum game.  That you have the capacity to love up to 100%.  You can’t give any more love than 100% of your love.

But that caused a problem for me.  As I go through life, I found more people to love, and that didn’t mean I loved the people who I already loved any less.

I started with loving my parents, as any child does.  But then, as I got older, I learned to love my sister, my cousins, more family.  But I still loved my parents just as much.  Then, I started dating, and loved some more.  I met the love of my life, and was so full of love I thought I would burst.  But I still loved my parents just as much.

Then I had a child, and another, and love them tremendously too.  But I still love my wife, my family, and my parents.  So this made me realize that love isn’t a zero sum game.  It is an infinite game that should be played continuously throughout your life.

You may have loved and lost, but you still loved.  It’s not like now that I have a wife and two children, that they now have 75% of my love, and the rest of my family only has the remaining 25%.  It doesn’t work that way.

The best thing I realized is back to that dollar example.  Now that I know love is infinite, I can give out those love dollars to as many people as I like, because there is a never ending supply of them.  And if some of them are not returned, and the investment goes to 0, I’m OK with that because for each one that goes to 0, every one that doubles, triples, 10x’s, I’m good.  They more than offset the one or two that don’t get returned.

Love is one of the strangest things there is.  The more you give away, the more you get in return, and on the other side, the tighter you hang onto it, the more likely you are to lose it.

So give it away as freely as you can, and you’ll get more back in return than you know what to do with.