Tithe

What is your first memory of money?

I did this exercise a long time ago when I was trying to understand why I don’t feel like I deserve to keep what I make.

It’s my father’s fault, and it was a complete accident. I don’t blame him for it, but it really messed me up. It was the result of my misunderstanding of the situation I was in, and he was the unfortunate bearer of bad news.

At my elementary school, there was a 10K Terry Fox fundraiser for cancer research run happening, and all the kids were asked to raise funds for it.

So there I was. Just a kid, running a 10K, going door to door fundraising.

What nobody explained to me was that the money was for charity, not me. I thought I would run, and get paid money. At the time the ‘Transformers’ were popular, my birthday and Christmas were months away, and I really wanted a new toy. This was the way I could buy the ‘Transformer’ toys I wanted.

As we were going door to door, raising funds, he was walking with me. I was being quite successful, and when I said how excited I was about all the money I was getting, he stopped me and told me no.

This money wasn’t for me, it was for someone else.

We were raising it for charity. I was blown away. Do you know how far 10K is for a child? I was going to be doing the running, I should get the money!

I was mad. So mad.

I cried and screamed and kicked, and he used it as an opportunity to tell me about others who were worse off than I was. People who were deserving of the money, of the proceeds of my work. They didn’t have all I had, so I should give them what I earned.

What he didn’t realize is that would imprint on me that no matter how hard I worked, I didn’t feel right in keeping my money.

Now, 35 or 40 years later, I still have trouble keeping the money I earn.

It doesn’t feel like I deserve it. I have to forgive him for that, and realize it’s OK for me to hold onto the money I earn.

It’s OK to keep some for me, it’s OK to be a little selfish, and the way I’m going to get around this deep ingrained believe is to tithe.

If I feel a need to give it away, I will give 10% of it away.

This way, the more I make, the more I can give away. This is ingrained in some religions as a tithe. Something that helps others.

I’m not sure what your first memory of money is, but you do deserve everything you get and earn. The more you get, the more you can give. The more you can give, the more you can earn.

So keep working hard. Keep earning what you earn, and tithe. That’s the best of all worlds and everyone wins!