choice vs decision

I am grateful for the thought of a choice, versus a decision.  I’ve always thought of them as interchangeable.  Red or blue?  Hot or cold?  Up or down?  I’m playing with the idea that they are different.

A choice is small, not really consequential, and that you don’t really care about, and it doesn’t really matter.  Should I eat with a small fork, or a large fork?  The outcome will be similar and low consequence.

A decision on the other hand, is highly consequential.  Getting married.  Having babies.  Quitting your job.  Starting a business.  Those decisions are highly impactful, and you certainly care about the outcome.

As I think about decisions, I realize the people who make the biggest most consequential decisions are leaders.  Leaders, by definition, lead others towards some future outcome they care about and as a leader, you care if you make it or not.  You care if you succeed.  You care what people are on the journey with you.  You embody the choice to make the world a different, and better place.  You inspire those around you to make their own decision to follow you to create the future you envision.  And that’s the magic of being the leader, with the vision of a new or different future.  And by engaging amazing people around you, you can change the world.

You can make the difference.  You can create the outcome you want.  If you can dream it, you can make it real.

This also creates a problem for most people.  Most people have been trained since birth to follow orders, not have a vision.  To do what’s expected, not what’s different.  To follow someone else’s plan, not to be a leader.

So when asked to create a vision, most people just envision a future when they don’t have to follow someone else’s instruction.  They envision a future where they are free.  Free from having to show up at a certain time, do a certain thing, and be responsible for an outcome that doesn’t really matter.  This is often called retirement.

Retirement is one of my least favorite words.  It creates a future where someone has given their all for a long, long time, done what they can to contribute to the machine, and are now discarded like a worn-out part to rust in the place where they settle.  They are now of an age where they have limited future contribution for whatever reason, and they should sit on a beach and watch the sunset.

I get a visceral reaction to this.  It’s such a waste.

These people, these experienced, wonderful people who have decades of life lessons are shunned off to the side and devalued.  They become overlooked, and discarded, and this impacts their self worth.  Their self talk.  Their self respect.  So they diminish even more until eventually their fire is extinguished.  This saddens me so much.  Not the end result, as we all pass away at some point, but the fact the entire process was built this way to use up people and discard them when we’re done with them.

I don’t blame them for the result.  Their outcome is a result of their schooling, their lessons, their training.  Their outcome is inevitable because they’ve never been taught how to have a vision.  Sure, lots of people have dreams as young people, then the reality of the system comes along and beats that out of them.  Teaches them to conform and align, and to make what they think are decisions, but are really choices, about their future.

Should I retire at 60, or 65?  Is that a choice or a decision?

Should I travel to Florida or Arizona in the winter to escape the cold?  Choice or decision?

My thought is they made the decision long ago to stop around a particular date, and continue their life on the path that was defined for them.  It was so long ago they had a vision for themselves and their future, they can not even remember what it was.

I’m not saying they didn’t have purpose, that they didn’t contribute, that they didn’t add value.  They did, they added tremendous value and the world is a better place because they were in it, and I am grateful for all they have done.

But I do wonder if they reached their fullest potential.  If they did all they could to live the life they were capable of.

Just imagine if they made the decision to lead their own life, how far they could have gone.